Divorce brings about significant changes in the family dynamic. Children feel uncertain during the period following divorce. They may feel anxious and confused as they try to adjust to all the changes. For a peaceful transition, it is important to know how parents approach co-parenting. The following five tips can help you have a successful co-parenting experience.
Tip #1. Separate your feelings about your ex from those about your child.
The feelings you have about your ex-spouse are real and most likely still very raw after the divorce. However, you must let go of animosity and resentment for your ex to have a successful co-parenting relationship.
It is better to co-parent with someone you dislike than it is to parent alone. Separating your emotions may seem difficult. Finding outlets for anger and hurt can be difficult. You might try talking to a therapist, exercising, or just hanging out with your friends. Keep your children’s best interests at heart and manage your emotions when co-parenting.
Tip #2. Never place your child in the middle.
It is common, and often far too easy, to communicate directly with your ex-partner via your child. It can be emotionally harmful to your child to place them in the middle of two parents.
It can cause a lot of anguish for the child to share negative thoughts about your ex with them. A child might feel forced to make a choice between one parent or the other by making hostile comments about them. This can both be unfair and bring about damages to your relationship with them.
Tip #3. Make Important Decisions Together
Some decisions involving your child will require both parents’ input. Such decisions often involve:
- Financial Needs
- Medical care
- To ensure their well-being, it is important to work as a team in these and other areas of your child’s life. All efforts to co-parent must focus on the child.
Asking for input from your ex can help ease your worries about a sensitive topic. By sharing your concerns about a child’s medical condition or school, you can show that you are both interested in what is best for your child.
Tip #4. Both Parties Should Agree to Be Consistent
There is nothing more confusing than having different rules for each parent. Knowing the boundaries can be helpful for your child in their adjustment to their new life.
These are some of the most important topics in a child’s life that need consistency:
Schedule: A regular schedule can make everyone’s day run more smoothly.
Rules: The consistency of both families teaches children what is acceptable.
Discipline: By being consistent with discipline, the child will know that there are the same consequences for any misbehavior with both parents.
It is possible for one parent to give mixed signals, which can lead to behavioral problems that exhaust everyone. It is unfair for your child to be expected to change their rules from one parent to the next. Varying bedtimes or rules regarding ice cream can lead to stress.
A co-parenting relationship that is consistent will have a higher chance of success for all.
Tip #5. Communication is Key!
Communication is the most important component of co-parenting. While it may not be easy to communicate with your child, it is essential. Your ex-partner may have a grudge, but communicating about your child’s needs, interests, health, and many other things is more important than any argument or grudge.
A lack of communication or miscommunication can negatively affect your child. If the child has been neglected by their parents, it is a serious offense and can lead to loss of custody.
These tips are suggested by experts to help you communicate with your children in a positive way.
- You should speak in a businesslike tone.
- You might consider asking: Instead of a demand, approach the other parent and make a request.
- Listen: It is essential to listen to your parents.
- Do not show anger or animosity. Before you communicate with your ex, be calm.
- These are just a few ways to open up and facilitate communication. Be sure to keep your eyes on your child and not your feelings about your ex.
Although it’s possible to have a successful co-parenting relationship, it’s not always easy.
It is difficult to balance the many emotions involved in sharing custody. The end of a marriage can have a profound impact on your child, from how they live and spend time with each parent.
A positive parenting plan will help your child manage the changes they experience. Each parent has to put in the effort. The ability to co-parent can improve over time. These five tips will help you create a positive childhood environment for your loved one.
When Co-Parenting Fails, Contact Bowie & Beresko, APLC
Divorce is not an easy process. You may find it difficult to co-parent with your ex. This could lead to you having to fight for full custody. Bowie & Beresko, APLC is available to help you.
The first step in the custody proceedings is to find out more about your options. The final decision will be made by the courts. A family lawyer with experience in family law is necessary to help you build a strong argument for why custody changes are necessary.
Bowie & Beresko, APLC is proud of our Louisiana family law experience. We guide parents through the legal process as well as manage all details.
Our team is caring and compassionate. We understand the emotional dynamics involved in co-parenting. If this becomes a dangerous situation for the child, we can help them fight for it.